Jeremiah 1:4-8

Poet’s Note: As a poet, I love sifting through poems of old. It tends to leave me shaking my head, smiling as I unearth memories. This poem, below, I wrote in August 2013 (thanks, timestamp!) and I am not certain what I was feeling. I titled it “Jeremiah 1:4-8” However, I know 3 things: 1) I read those verses and was inspired, 2) I was 18 and starting my 2nd year of college, and 3) my paternal¬†grandmother had recently passed. It could be any of those 3 things that could’ve sparked inspiration; but nonetheless, reading it now I see a story and I pray it helps someone who feels alone. That it will encourage someone who is afraid of what God is asking, that my poem will give that person a hope to pursue God’s Will even if it is scary. This poem is a conversation with God, a conversation that I am certain many people have had with the Most High (I have for one). What is bolded is God’s words (and consequently a paraphrase of Jeremiah 1:4-8). Enjoy this poem that has not been unveiled until now.

——-

Will it be a crime, if I were to say?
“You got the wrong guy.”
Hey,
I know you’re the Most High –
But everyone makes a mistake

My words are wild
Nor do people like me.
I speak like a child
Choose my brother, he will do greatly.
But with me? I’ll be found out as a fake

Do not be afraid,
Do not draw up excuses.
Go to where I send you and don’t dread
Go and end feuds.
I will rescue you.

Will it be bad, if I were to disobey?
Flee?
With no whale swallowing me, I pray?
Hear my plea!
Just do this, but don’t forsake

Enough!
I formed you in the womb
I made you to do roughness of the rough.
I appointed, consecrated, you to have hardships and wounds.
Go and speak – if terror befalls, I will deliver you.

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I Know

Two words.

Two words…
Reduced to tears
Reduced to memories
Reduced to a wondering

Two words…
Lead to midnight talks
Lead to late night questions
Lead to silence

Did I truly know?

It was not for my passions,
the goals the flesh brought me.
It was not for my wants,
the dreams I fantasized.

It was for the passion,
the zeal I had for Him.
It was for my wants,
the dream to carry out Matthew 28.

I was young,
paths changed (and you knew that)
You knew I may not stay on the same path
But you knew I will stay on the narrow one.

You are not proud of just my aspirations,
You are not proud of just my fleshly works,

You are proud and love me for my obedience
You are proud and love me for my spiritual works
You are proud and love me for putting His wants before my own.

And for that,
“I know.”

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The Father to the Fatherless

I stood singing in Church, swaying to the beat. Then the music stopped… but only for me.

For I hear a phrase, a phrase sung all around me. A phrase that is accompanied with tears. A phrase that brings comfort and hope. A phrase that I do not understand.

The Father to the Fatherless.

I have never been fatherless.

This poetic wording is in three parts, illustrating the gold pendant with the three diamonds that adorns me. The same pendant that has made it journey from father to son, although in different forms, before it is gifted from a father to his daughter – me.

The first diamond – There is someone who is the reason why I was never without a friend. There is someone who I could not become angry with, but instead ask “why” and laugh in hysteria when the answer is “trust Me.” There is someone who holds me close, whispering gently, and protecting me from the woes of the Enemy. There is someone who is the definition of a father in its entirety. This someone is one that I call my God, my Holy Spirit, and my Savior.

The second diamond – God, when He began knitting me, knew I needed more guidance. He searched and searched, before making His divine choice. He chose a man to teach Truths, to show compassion, to provide, and to discipline me. And this man, who is called Dad, was once given his own dad to demonstrate those qualities. This father of my father, who is called Granddad, opened his home to many and invite [edit: told] the youngest of the grandchildren to come and join the Church taking place in his living room. And back to the man I call Dad, before that name was given to him, was given another dad through marriage. This father of my mother, who is called Grandpa, a man that loves and honors his wife and who possibly knows no stranger. A Grandpa who does not shy from being silly to granddaughters. A Grandpa whose actions depicts qualities of honesty, actions that does not go unnoticed by a granddaughter.

The third diamond – Now a grown woman, no longer a girl needing a secure fortress (Proverbs 14:26), yet it also states that teach a child the Truth and s/he will not depart (Proverbs 22:6). Now a grown woman, no longer a girl living with her earthly father. Just a grown woman learning to brave this world. But the first diamond, her God, knew the importance of a father. He directed her down paths, paths that her feet took her after she grew up. These paths lead her to spiritual men that are fathers and once a father, always a father. Whenever she looks around, feeling lost or broken or alone, she’ll see a trusted friend (who so happens to be older and a father) and discerns the wisdom she so needs rely in that paternal figure.

I have friends who are without fathers, whether it is because of death or sin, and it pains me that I do not know how it feels. But I do not know what it means to be fatherless. For when I am friendless or alone, I hear God whisper in my ear and I am no longer alone. For when I am sad, I feel God’s arms around me and I am glad. For when I am in need of advice, I can call my Dad. For when I need immediate assistance, I know fathers whom I trust.

I am not fatherless. I have a father, grandfathers, and men in my life who I look up to like a daughter looks up to her dad. I am not fatherless. And that is okay. For I have a God who is teaching me to see others in His eyes, to see those who are fatherless and to invite them in my life in unconditional, unadulterated love.

Happy Father’s Day to all the fathers in my life. Your teachings and love and compassion does not go unnoticed.

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Where Are You? I Miss You

1,810 days ago, my grandma arrived in Heaven with blamelessness and gladness. 365 days ago, my granddad made his own journey, with the same blamelessness and gladness, and I choose to believe that he was ecstatic at seeing his wife of almost 60 years again. After all, he stayed on this earth 4 years (almost to the day) after Grandma passed away, I think he couldn’t wait another day without seeing her face that when God called him home. He was, like, “Ok, God, you’re the boss,” (after all we are called to be prepared) and then said, “Hate to impose, but when do I get to see Ann – wait, now? Yes! Wait, how do I look? Is she happy with me? How is she doing?” Okay, it probably didn’t go exactly that way…. but, a granddaughter can dream.

Anyways, this poem is for my granddad. One of the men who influenced (and still influences) my walk with Christ. He was a great man and I miss him dearly. I pray that you all have a Jim in your life.

*****

Close my eyes and I see it all
Cradled in your arms,
Asleep as you pray,
Praying for this life I’ll lead.
Then I wake –
Where are you?

Close my eyes and I see it all
You preaching in Africa
You teaching me how to effectively dry plasticware
(and not dry like Grandma, unless I want to wait until Jesus comes back)
Then I wake –
Where are you?

Close my eyes and I see it all
You at the kitchen table
You praying for others
You interceding for others
Then I wake –
Where are you?

Close my eyes and I see it all
Dress in black, somber expressions
Assembly line
You hug me, choking out words that I needed so dearly
Then I wake –
Where are you?

Close my eyes and I see it all
You asking about me
As your mind struggles,
Yet your heart vies for victory.
Then I wake –
Where are you?

Close my eyes and I see a dream
Walking in that house on N. College
Hugging Grandma, hugging you,
Maybe I’m with someone, maybe I’m not.
But it’s Now
And I am happy as can be.
Then I wake –
Where are you?

Open my eyes and I see reality
A year is upon us,
You have been united with her
You have been rewarded by God
Your heart has been victorious

And, although, my heart rejoices,
I still feel a twinge,
A splinter of sorrow
When you cross my mind.

I love you, Granddad.

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Motherhood: Something More

This is in three parts…

 

There is a mother who opened her home and heart to children without a mother’s love for five years and yet still showed unconditional love to the four daughters of her own. There is a mother who demonstrated great love to her students, missionaries, and – above all – her two daughters and one son. They were ordinary people, but these mothers were given special names: Mama and Mom, respectively. And these special names earned them new ones: Grandmother and Grandma, as well as GG when a newer generation arrived.

 

The two family joined with the union of the oldest of the four daughters and the only son. The oldest daughter, just like her mother before her, became a mother until she, too, was gifted with the name of Mom at four different occasions by four different people. She showed strength and humility, but possessed an ability to speak up for the oppressed. Like all roles of motherhood, it transitioned from teaching and disciplining to that of advising and guiding. She is given a new name as a new generation arrives: Agogo.

 

Motherhood – a job that is never fully thank with the exception of once a year. It is a job that many has cited to be “more than a job,” a quote, in which, from an outsider’s perspective, I am inclined to believe. It is a role where if one truly takes motherhood (for all its joy and tears) then it’ll seep into the mother’s other relationship for it becomes a trait.¬† Here’s to the mothers who have lost a child (whether by death or worldly sin). Here’s to the expectant mothers anticipating the day they’ll meet their baby.¬†Here’s to the mothers who have moved their child to college. Here’s to the mothers who have children and/or grandchildren celebrating them. Here’s to the mothers who have departed from this world. Here’s to the mothers who are of adoption, marriage, or of spiritual sense.

To all those who represents motherhood: You are Someone’s Mom. Thank you for all you do.

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No More Tears

And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away. Revelation 21:4

The Lord thy God in the midst of thee is mighty; he will save, he will rejoice over thee with joy; he will rest in his love, he will joy over thee with singing. Zephaniah 3:17

 

 

 

As a child I was taught
I’ll be a new creation.
I was taught
I’ll be Your bride.

Yet I wonder, I wonder,
What that day will be

Will my vision be obstructed,
Will Your beauty be unseen?
Will I choke, will I cry?

Will I feel unworthy?
Will I fall, turn my eyes away?

I think of my granddad and his arrival
Did he smile, greet You with wide arms?
Or tremble, did he fall?

Did you wipe all those tears,
Giving back 20/20?
Did you sing over him,
How wonderful that it is that he answered the Call?

I wonder, oh I wonder,
If You turned Granddad to the Gates
Whispering three words.

 

 

As a child I was taught
I’ll be a new creation.
I was taught
There will be no more tears.

Yet, I wonder, I wonder,
What that day will be.

Will I smile, greet You with wide arms?
Or tremble, will I fall?
Will my tears – caused by Your splendor –
Weaken my self-worth?

 

 

As a child I was taught
I’ll be a new creation.
I was taught
I’ll be Your bride.

Yet, I wonder, I wonder
What that day will be.

I believe tears would be no more
An illustration of grace drawn up
The Lord, my God, will wipe my tears away,

The Lord, my God, will give back 20/20
Wiping tears so that I may see His Face.
He’ll whisper three words
Granting me access beyond the Gates.

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#walkup

Fleas buzz around,
densing this world of hunger and sickness.
Smiles of falsehoods
Hid the scars away.

I don’t want to see it

Someone lost and broken and alone
I want to see their worth,
not their addictions

Someone lost and broken and alone
I want to see their heart,
not their struggles

Someone lost and broken and alone
I want to give love
I ant to give hope
I want to give faith
Because they are humans

When I give, may it not be out of fear
or the pride of “doing right.”
When I give, may it be out of genuine love.

“For I was crucify with Christ,
It is no longer I who live but Christ who lives in me.
The life I live in flesh, I live by faith in the Son of God –
the very same who loved me and gave up His life for me.” (1)

This I pray:
For a heart of humility
For a heart of gentleness
For a heart of purity
For a heart of Christ

Happy Easter! #walkup is now trending due to recent school shootings. I have read both sides of the issues. Some are for it and others are against it, citing that it would only elicit fear toward the other classmates. I don’t agree. For me, #walkup is learning to see people for their worth.

There’s a song written by Gary Chapman and it was performed by Amy Grant. It is called “Father’s Eyes.” It is a prayer that your eyes will see the way that our Heavenly Father sees things. That is my prayer.

I do not want to see the homeless as homeless, a victim as a victim, someone in poverty as someone in poverty, nor the quiet kid as a quiet kid. Yes, I want to help them, but when I see the person for the very first time I want to see the same thing that God sees. I want to see the person’s worth, see their full potential. Because, just like me, they are sinful humans. I want to help a homeless, knowing that he or she could be the one to find a cure for cancer. I want to bring victims to safety, knowing that there’s a rainbow around the bend. I want to give to someone in poverty, knowing they could, one day, start their own charity. I want to befriend the quiet kid, knowing of the beautiful character they have within themselves. God knows you and me (Psalm 139:1-5); I want to be like Him.

(1) Galatians 2:20

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